Do you remember in the yard,
nursing birds from fallen nests
while the sprinkler sprayed its mist?

Do you remember in the car,
dodging tornadoes after airshows,
while the house was burning down?

Do you remember holding me,
how I would squirm and cry and plead,
how I always will need?

Even when the gaps multiply,
and your head's in a haze,
a boat through the foggy night.
It's abundantly clear that the world spits beauty like poison,
and we're left to lap it up.
Left to lap it up.

I'm so tired of keeping the body and the soul together. 


2020's devastating blow came in the early Summer, when my parents called to inform me that my Mom was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. I immediately wrote these lyrics in a note on my phone, stream of consciousness, recounting the most vivid memories from my childhood with her. And I wonder, can she even remember them? And I wonder, when can I can even see her again? because everything is so incredibly fucked up right now and we live 900 miles apart. I sent the voice memo of this track to my good friend Jon Streker, and he asked if he could help flesh out the vocal harmonies for the ending section, and he really took the track to the next level. His 'oohs' at the end really bring the album to a haunting close. 

I usually end my albums on a positive note, some kind of encouragement and a hopeful look into the future. But not this one. 

All proceeds from Bandcamp sales for this album will be donated to the Fisher Center for Alzheimer's Research Center (

Credit to Denis Johnson's 'Tree of Smoke' for the line "This world spits out a beautiful man like he was poison," the basis for the lyric in the song. 



Written, Produced, and Mixed by Brandon Peterson

Harmony Vocal Arrangement by Jon Streker

Mastered by David Lipps